This site uses cookies to provide a streamlined experience. To learn more see our current privacy policy.
We See Things
Differently

Welcome to The Stream: Allison+Partners’ content hub that features the latest news and trends making the biggest waves in media and marketing.

AGENCY NEWS // MARCH 31, 2019 //     

ALLISON+PARTNERS LAUNCHES LATEST CULTURE INITIATIVE, “IT’S ABOUT THE PERKS”

**April Fools!**

Innovative Program with Over-the-Top Perks Designed to Attract and Retain Industry’s Top Talent




In a day and age where office perks are a dime-a-dozen, global marketing communications agency Allison+Partners is upping the ante on the corporate “perk off.” The agency is changing its long-standing company motto from “It’s About the Work” to “It’s About the Perks,” and introducing a series of enviable new perks for current and future agency employees.

“While we have long been proud of our popular employee benefits such as Workout Wednesdays, birthday days off and paid sabbaticals after only five years, the competition for talent inspired us to boldly go where no agency has gone before,” said Allison+Partners’ Chairman + CEO Scott Allison. “What we’ve landed on is not only breakthrough in our industry, but some of the best perks in the entire world, bar none.”

Allison+Partners’ new perks were sourced through active and purposeful googling of the agency’s competitors, aspirational targeting of companies we’re nothing like and general pipe-dreaming. They include:

  • Chocolate Fountain to End All Chocolate Fountains – A 6-foot-tall, 85 percent dark cacao nibs fountain enhanced with vegan collagen will be placed in each office to enable 24-hour dipping pleasure for employees.  According to a newly released survey, 87% of workers indicated they are open to extending their workday by an additional two hours if bribed with chocolate.
  • Grapes on Demand – A duo of office assistants will float seamlessly from desk to desk to peel and feed employees grapes and fan them with oversized palm fronds while they work. It’s hands-free grape eating perfection! During a recent employee engagement survey, we found 98% of employees prefer grapes over every other fruit. We take these results seriously.
  • Sloth Therapy Room – Who needs puppies when you have fuzzy sloths in a sound proof room with classical music playing in the background!? While puppies have been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety by more than 80%, surveys have shown that cuddling sloths leads to over the top euhphoria in more than 100% of people.
  • Forget “bring your kids to work day,” we’re announcing Bring Your Kids to Work Every Day and equipping our offices with changing tables and branded diaper genies.  Science has shown that crying can actually produce a soothing effect similar to white noise and beach waves, when it reaches a decibel equal to a dozen kids crying at once. 
  • Remote Working Gone Wild – We’ll offer a once in a lifetime Mars employee exchange program enabling employees to work for six months from the fourth planet from the sun. Let’s face it, space is hotter than ever.
  • Staff manicures are so last year.  As a pet-friendly agency, we are offering weekly manicures to the staff’s pets, custom nail art included.   Pet manicures was the top #trending item on social media in the month of March.  
  • We’ll replace the traditional holiday party with twice yearly, all-staff trips to the North Pole, reindeer rides included.   While zero percent of adults still actually believe in Santa, let’s face it, we all want to.
  • Why should parental leave only be for actual parents? We’re offering parental leave when your work-wife or work-husband gets a new pet (reptiles included). A wise unknown and random person once said that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” We believe it.  
  • To save on commute time and maximize efficiency, we’ll introduce on-demand autonomous driving sleep chambers to take all employees to and from work. Studies by important people have shown that R.E.M. can best be achieved in autonomous driving vehicles.

Additional information on the ground-breaking new perks can be found on April 1 at https://www.allisonpr.com/about/careers.html

The Stream

Articles + Opinions Delivered Directly to your Inbox.

Sign Up today!

I consent to my data being collected and stored.
MENTAL_FLOSS // APR 5, 2019
Print Story Books Encourage More Meaningful Interactions Between Kids and Parents — t.co/jqR5q0NESk
MEDIAITE // APR 5, 2019
Trump Reportedly Already Discussing Tell-All Memoir About His Presidency t.co/Fjw81FLjpy t.co/KlmZ8PG7Pt
BUSINESSINSIDER // APR 5, 2019
The $2.5 trillion investment giant behind Fearless Girl has been voting against gender and diversity resolutions. H… t.co/HCr4S3qXn7
TEDTALKS // APR 5, 2019
"Our work helps restore the rights and the dignity that refugees lose throughout resettlement by giving them the re… t.co/e6nNyvOi5M
LANCEULANOFF // APR 5, 2019
ICYMI: Mark Zuckerberg says Facebook won't delay livestreams after New Zealand massacre t.co/Xwb6jUwMEr
SETHMEYERS // APR 5, 2019
Last night’s CLOSER LOOK t.co/lOnHn0Ahk7
JATECSON // Apr 4, 2019 The Future. Portrait of @kingroubleau ⁣ Styled by @janaeroubleau #famfirst #jatecson
NATGEO // Apr 4, 2019 Photos by @richardbarnes | The Vermillion Cliffs National Monument straddles the northern Arizona and southern Utah borders. Contained within its boundaries are some of the most stunning geological features to be found anywhere in the world. I had the ple
GOODTYPE // Apr 3, 2019 Hi everyone ????????@dominique_falla from @typism here bringing you the next instalment of my favourite Aussie artists for my #goodtype takeover this week >> @pocketdesign • 6/12 Brett Piva travelled north from Newcastle in his trusty sign van and asked i
ABSTRACTSUNDAY // Apr 3, 2019 „Dodo“ I drew this for the NYTimes a while back. Only recently I realized that technically that was the first time to use a mix of drawing and real life object.
TMAGAZINE // Apr 3, 2019 #OscarNiemeyer understood the beauty of Modernism in #Brazil’s climate, and his open-air plans for the Carmen Baldo house, designed in 1969, integrated perfectly with the textured scenery of #RiodeJaneiro's tropical outdoors. In a dramatic reconfigura
TMAGAZINE // Apr 2, 2019 On a remote mountaintop in Cáceres, Extremadura, Spain, this off-the-grid house seeks to connect with its surroundings. Designed by Ábaton Arquitectura (@abaton_arch), the home was built with local materials and depends on renewable sources of energy incl
GOODTYPE // Apr 2, 2019 Lettering and words below by @wiselettering for today’s #GoodtypeTuesday: ・・・ This week’s #goodtypetuesday challenge is to think of something you learned from an artist among this community. Almost exactly a year ago, I was prepping for my first mural, a
13THWITNESS // Mar 31, 2019 SENSEI DROPPING KNOWLEDGE @fujiwarahiroshi #MONCLERGENIUS #MONCLERFRAGMENT @moncler
NATGEO // Mar 31, 2019 Photo by @irablockphoto | Buddhist monks are known to care for and feed stray animals that show up at their temples and monasteries. This dog at a temple in Luang Prabang, Laos, seems to enjoy the chanting of the monks at their evening prayers. #buddhism